I got a job at Cupcake Royale working mostly weekends as a barista and a cupcake froster. I'm pleased to be contributing to our income on a steady basis. It's more reliable than freelance work and CR is a good company that believes in taking care of it's employees. Since I started, I get asked a lot, "What did you do before this?" I really don't know how to answer... "I worked as a freelance photographer" or "I take care of my children" As if that explains my work ethic.Since I graduated from college, I have been working on defining myself as a photographer. I tried incorporating my art work and my "mom life" by focusing on children's portraits. (Which I have never really pursued with the aggressive marketing and networking that a successful business relies on). I put pressure on myself to "do something with photography." But by investing in an area that I like very much, but am not that passionate about as an artist, I burned myself out. Taking pictures became something I was obligated to do. I had to back up my proclamations about being a photographer with work.
The reality is, as a young mother, I don't have the money or the time to be the artist I dreamed of. But now, as I embark on a coffee career, as I did once before while in school, I will use this opportunity to start over.
Parenthood puts EVERYthing else on hold. Sometimes we get moments of respite when we can be the artist and the parent and wear both hats at the same time. But mostly, this is a fantasy, not the reality. Even it you had the money (and therefore the time) to pursue the dream you had before you had children, you would be sacrificing something with respect to your relationship with them. Your attitude is maturing...more mature dreams will follow...
ReplyDeletecongrats again on the new gig! it sounds like a good fit and i hope it gets you closer to your dreams. p.s. when are we getting together again? ;)
ReplyDeleteHey Hannah! I'm sorry I never commented before for some reason i thought you had to have an account.
ReplyDeleteAnyway... I I like what Mom said.
Even though things aren't going the way you imagined, I'm sure that you will now be inspired to do things in a direction you probably have never imagined. I don't think you should look down on yourself (not that your post is portraying that, I'm just saying) I think that so many people admire and would admire you for everything you have done and have become.
Your boys will always be inspiring. I'm thinking back on all of moms quilts and things that we helped her create, just by being us.
The You Can't Wear That Quilt hung in NYC and that quilt was inspired... by, you guessed it. US... the kids.
You have to be a mom now, and until your kids are a little older, your head with just be spinning and spinning.
I know that you are to creative to not produce some art that you are proud of.. weather it be now or when Asher is married.
Love you.
I'm so proud of my girls! You both have your own gifts and your own abilities to express what you have learned with those gifts. I love you both so very much.
ReplyDelete